


alcohol

by flipthescript



Series: alcohol [1]
Category: We Are The Tigers - Allen
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-10-26 06:15:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20737547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flipthescript/pseuds/flipthescript
Summary: farrah never wanted to ruin her life entirely, she really didn't. it's just sometimes things become too overwhelming and too much, and when you have no one else left in your life, the liquid in a glass bottle is your closest friend.or the story of how farrah started her addiction.





	1. i swear to god that i could throw it all away

**Author's Note:**

> tw for abuse and alcohol mostly.  
i always wondered what brought up farrah's addiction, so i decided to write a fic on how i see it and what i think happened! i'm not good at writing in any way so..enjoy reading!

When Farrah was six, she lived with her mother and father. She didn't have any siblings so she was very shy and introverted, much unlike her loud and extroverted parents. She was raised to speak only when spoken too, so she barely talked to anyone unless needed. She never gave her two cents or shot back a smart remark to anyone who upset her unlike how she is currently. From a young age, Farrah was very smart. She knew and understood things most of the children her age didn't, because of her parents. Most kids her age spent their weekends at a park or playing outside, but Farrah spent hers hiding away in her room, covering her ears and squeezing her eyes shut to try and block out the screaming and shouting of her parents. Friday nights were when they would start. Her dad would come home completely wasted, barging into their home like a bull in a china stop. Every Friday, a new item in the household was broken or destroyed. Farrah started keeping track of every single item. Farrah didn't like when her dad was 'sick', as her mother told her he was, she liked him Tuesdays through Thursdays. Saturdays were the same thing, but it wasn't items being broken or ruined, it was usually her mother trying to calm her father down. It was usually when her mother was trying to defend herself from him or defending herself when he would try and come onto her. It was usually when Farrah would bite down hard on her lip and tongue to stop a sob from echoing out. Sundays was when her father would scream and shout and kick and punch and completely destroy their home, then proceed to drunkingly say that he was leaving for good. Mondays were hangover days. Mondays were her dad coming home at two in the morning, waking Farrah up on a school night, and letting her listen to him beg and plead her mother to let him back. Farrah never understood why her mother always said yes, but at fifteen, she realized and wished her mother would've said no.  
When Farrah was ten, her parents were still married. She would hear about the kids' parents at her school getting divorces left and right, and deep down wished hers would do the same. Weekends were still the same, four years later, but now Farrah was older and much more involved with the fights and arguments. Every single night was the same, except this time Farrah wasn't hiding in her room, shaking and silently begging and praying the screaming fights would stop. She was right in the middle of them. She was always defending her mother from her father no matter what the reason was, she knew her father was stronger and had much more will power than her mother, but she refused to just sit there and let her mother get treated like that. Soon enough, Farrah was the one fighting with her father while her mother was too weak and hurt. It would start off by her quietly trying to reason with her father, while her mother was behind her mumbling different pleas to stop her daughter. When speaking like a decent human being to her father didn't work, she would raise her voice and it would become a screaming fight. The words Farrah's father had told her in those countless fights still repeat in her head to this day. He'd say things about how he never wanted her, and how he wished he had a boy instead. He would scream at her how much of a mistake she was, how stupid she was, how he should've left when he had the chance. He would scream those to her in her face, belittling her and watching her slowly break and crack down. He'd watch her eyes and how the fire she once had was gone and put out like a flame just by telling her what he actually feels. He lived for it. Every curse he yelled at her and every line he'd shout at her hurt her and broke her down piece by piece, until tears were stinging at her eyes and her brain was begging them not to spill, to not show weakness to the monster that stood in front of her, sneering down at her. The fights got worse and worse every single time. They got to the point where Farrah was coming to school everyday with different bruises all over her, but when her teachers and friends would ask what happened, she would just put on a fake smile and say "I'm just really clumsy."  
When Farrah was fourteen, her entire world came crashing down on her. It was January 10th when it happened and ever since that day, Farrah hasn't been the same since. It was freezing out, freezing to the point where it hurt her skin and made it feel like ten thousand knives were stabbing into her. Her father had been driving him and her mother back home from god knows where, and of course, her dad was wasted. Farrah didn't know why her mother didn't just take over and drive, but then she remembered how angry and hostile her father gets when things don't go his way. It was ten at night when her parents, both of them, were supposed to come home. When Farrah heard the keys and the doorknob turning and didn't hear two voices or two separate sets of footsteps, she knew something bad had happened. When she came out of her room and looked at her father, the look on his face right then and there told her everything. His bloodshot eyes, the dark bags under his eyes, his red puffy nose, his dark hair ruffled and matted, and the blood on his shirt- she knew.  
Farrah was fourteen and a half when her father got with Annleigh's mother. Annleigh's parents were recently divorced, and Annleigh's mother just so happened to know Farrah's father growing up. The two of them got married very quickly, and Farrah's father sobered up just for his new wife, Farrah's new step mother. Farrah always wondered why he didn't sober up years prior. She always wondered why he didn't after beating his real wife, after he hurled his keys at his daughter's head, after he basically killed her mother in a car crash. But I guess after you marry a heavily religious woman, sobering up was what he had to do.


	2. so i'll pour the bottle out and be myself again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> farrah never wanted to ruin her life entirely, she really didn't. it's just sometimes things become too overwhelming and too much, and when you have no one else left in your life, the liquid in a glass bottle is your closest friend.
> 
> or the story of how farrah started her addiction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for abuse and alcohol mostly.

Farrah never thought that having half a bottle of rum two nights after her mother's death would destroy her entire life. When she took the glass out of her father's liquor cabinet, she shrugged and didn't think much of it.

She's never really stopped to think before any decision, has she?

She never thought that rum would start up her addiction. She never thought just half a bottle would change her whole life. She never thought that the liquid would change all of her friend's and family's opinions about her. 

She should have listened in her seventh grade health class. She should have actually paid attention and believed her teacher when he said that even a drop of alcohol could start up an addiction for a lifetime. But when she was standing in front of the tall, large cabinet, her mind wasn't in the right place. It was scattered everywhere. She wasn't thinking. She couldn't think. All Farrah knew at that exact moment was that her mother was dead, and her father was getting away with it. She also knew that she didn't have the courage or pain tolerance to hurt herself physically and visually, so maybe hurting herself where no one would see it would help her. 

It didn't help her. Not in the slightest. Sure, she would be numb and emotionless for hours, and yeah, it felt good to be able to stop thinking for a period of time. But she was slowly ruining herself on the inside. Every night was her doubled over, throwing up her insides into the toilet, while she had her hair tied back into a loose pony tail. Her father would be home, and of course he would hear her, but he didn't care. He never cared for Farrah. He never cared for his own daughter, his own blood, the daughter of his wife- his actual wife that he killed. 

It wasn't just at home, it was anywhere. It was at four in the morning while she's breaking down on her bed, downing six cans of beer. It was at midnight when she had told her father that she was going to her friends house, but when in reality it was at an open field. It was at different parties she came up at. It was any place or time that she knew she wouldn't be able to handle anything and needed a safety blanket. Alcohol was her reliever.

But when her father and Annleigh's mother got together, it hit her like a truck that she couldn't be so free and open about this. She was so used to drinking whenever and where ever she pleased. But having a now highly religious step-mother made everything ten times as harder. 

Farrah's father had sobered up as quick as he could when he married that woman. But his hatred for his actual daughter stayed. He adored Annleigh, treated her like a princess, but would barely look his own daughter in the eyes.

"You're too much like your mother." He'd say with a venom in his voice.

It didn't hurt Farrah though. She took it as a compliment.

"Thanks." She'd reply with the biggest smile on her face, knowing it angered her father even more.

Farrah had learned a lot of things throughout the two years she's lived with Annleigh. The biggest thing she's learned is how to hide alcohol. 

She had people who got her alcohol, she had a fake ID, she even got it herself sometimes, but the hardest was hiding it. Hiding it from her step-mother was easy, just make sure all bottles and cans are cleaned before she does her monthly 'room check'.

Annleigh was a different story.

At first, Farrah and Annleigh shared a room together, and it was hell. It was unbelievably difficult for Farrah to hide her addiction, especially when she almost got caught multiple times. It was also hard because whenever Farrah snuck back into their home way past her curfew, there would be Annleigh, her arms crossed and foot tapping and her eyes glared down at Farrah. The questioning and yelling on those nights would feel like they went on for hours. Soon enough, Farrah did tell Annleigh, and even though it caused them to breakout in a screaming fight, Annleigh surprisingly never told their mother. Farrah never knew why, but she was grateful.

But of course, all good things come to an end. 

Farrah's father was the one to tell her step-mom.

Farrah came home from cheer practice a week into the start of her sophomore year, and there was her father, empty and half filled bottles and dozens of cans in his hands. His eyes had a fire in them, and his bark was much worse than his bite. It ended up in a screaming fight between the two, and it all reminded Farrah too much of her hell of a childhood. It ended up with Farrah getting the cans chucked at her and her pushing and shoving her father. It ended up with Farrah storming out of the house in a rage, and not coming back till four days later. It ended up in Farrah not coming to school for those four days and missing the cheer practice, which almost got her kicked off the team. It ended with Farrah coming back home, wasted and coming to school with a disgusting hangover and bruises up and down her arms and legs. People questioned her, and the memory of her childhood all came back once again.

Farrah's step-mom, Annleigh's mother, on the other hand was mad, she did ground Farrah for a month, but she also felt terrible with how her dad treated her. She offered her many support groups, rehabs, and churches, all to which Farrah would storm upstairs and slam her door.

Ever since that fight and those four days without Farrah, Annleigh slowly became a babysitter to her. Her mother would force her to watch her, go out with her, take her anywhere, and Annleigh hated it. She hated how Farrah blamed her and would get into a temper tantrum, and when Annleigh would fight back she was the one to get in trouble, not her baby sister. She hated how she could never hang out with Clark, because Farrah had to be with her at all times. She hated how she became Farrah's guardian and protector and was the only one to defend her sister when the world was against her.

Annleigh having to babysit Farrah 24/7 was not fun for either of them. It always ended in a fight between the two. One time Annleigh had to go and pick up Farrah from some party that she shouldn't have been at, Farrah was wasted and could barely walk straight, and that ended up in Annleigh yelling at Farrah from her car while Farrah was too fucked up to understand her.

"Farrah! Get in the car!" Annleigh's voice was loud, but to Farrah it sounded like an echoing scream

"Fuck off Annleigh! I'm walking home!" Farrah shouted back, but it just sounded like a string of jumbled words. She started hobbling away, stumbling and tripping over air.

"Farrah you're wasted! Get in the car so I can take you home!" Annleigh very slowly drove along side Farrah, tempted to just grab her sister and throw her in the car.

"No! I can walk by myse-" Farrah got cut off by completely tripping and falling face first onto the concrete. She groaned out in pain and slowly lifted herself up, blood running down her from busting her lip clean open.

Annleigh shot out of the car and kneeled against the ground, holding Farrah's chin and examining her. She rolled her eyes and huffed, dragging her baby sister into her car.

"Next time, don't act like a stupid child and listen to me." Annleigh hissed at Farrah, slamming her car door shut and driving away from god know's whos house they were at.

Farrah ended up having to get stitches and crying herself to sleep that night, along with drinking herself away.

Another time was at a game. Farrah showed up twenty minutes late, along with Annleigh, who came onto the field dragging her hungover sister in by the arm. 

"I'm so sorry we're late." Annleigh said in an apologetic tone. "I was getting ready and Farrah decided to go out the night before and get herself all kinds of messed up and now she's-"

"Late and hungover? Figures." Cairo said with a sneer. 

Farrah suddenly chimed in. "Hey!" she slurred and crossed her arms. "You're lucky I'm even here."

Cairo rolled her eyes at the girl and pushed past her and Annleigh, but not before whispering harshly into Annleigh's ear. "Don't ever bring her like this to a game again." 

Annleigh winced. It was her fault, again. It was somehow Annleigh's own fault for her sister being drunk. It was somehow Annleigh who had control over the kid. It was somehow Annleigh's responsibility for this. It was always Annleigh. 

Annleigh stormed up to Farrah, a fire in her once soft doe eyes. Now she was screaming at her, not caring that the rest of their team saw. Not caring about the football team laughing and hollering. Not caring about the audience in the bleachers. 

"Why do you always have to be wasted?! Why can't you just stay sober for at least a day!? Why are you always ruining everything for me? This is YOUR fault that we're late. This is YOUR fault I'm gonna get grounded. This is YOUR fault I'm getting forced to babysit you!" Annleigh was yelling at the smaller girl, who was wide eyed and almost shaking in fear. Their fights got bad, but not this bad.

"Annleigh, I'm sorry, okay? I really am this time, I wasn't thinking last night and-" Farrah slurred and stuttered, tears filling her eyes, but got cut off quickly.

"You never THINK, Farrah! Not once have you ever thought! You never use your brain! You don't think before you act! I'm wasting my entire life because of you! Because I have to babysit a stupid damn CHILD!" Annleigh's voice was rubbed raw and now tears were forming in her own eyes, but not from sadness, those were from anger.

Those words hurt Farrah, they really did, but she couldn't cry in front of Annleigh. She couldn't cry in front of their whole team, who watched with jaws dropped and eyes wide. She couldn't cry in front of their football team and their audience in the bleachers. She couldn't show weakness. 

Kate slowly, but carefully, approached the two. Kate never fancied either Annleigh or Farrah, but there had to be a stop to this.

"Annleigh, she's your sister-" Kate started while placing her hand on the taller girl's shoulder, but was soon taken a back.

Annleigh spun around, the same flames in her once gentle eyes flickering and sparking. "She is anything but my sister, she is a thorn in my side." Annleigh hissed, her voice traced with venom.

Farrah watched as Annleigh took off, her fists curled and her hair bouncing as she quickly stomped away from the field. 

It hurt. Those words hurt. Farrah got hurt, a lot, but Annleigh has never said anything like that. She was shocked, she was taken a back, she was destroyed. Now the tears were coming, and she was too weak to even try and stop them. She finally looked up and glanced at everyone. A sob came out, it was strangled and sore, a mix between the alcohol still in her body and the yelling she just had to do. 

Farrah cried and cried for hours that night, she didn't come to practice for another two days, nor did she even look at Annleigh. She didn't say one word to her, even when Annleigh came to the conclusion that she had fucked up and needed to apologize. 

Farrah did forgive her at one point, although it took a while. But it will always hurt her, no matter how hard she tries to stop thinking about it, those words always play in her head to this day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter got more into how farrah's home life is while the next chapter will most likely be how her outside life is. i know this is short, i'm trying to work on longer chapters and hopefully the next one will be longer. i hope y'all enjoyed reading!


	3. that hopeless loser girl that no-one understands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> farrah never wanted to ruin her life entirely, she really didn't. it's just sometimes things become too overwhelming and too much, and when you have no one else left in your life, the liquid in a glass bottle is your closest friend.
> 
> or the story of how farrah started her addiction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for homophobia and alcohol mostly.

Sometimes Farrah misses the way she used to be.

She misses when she was the 'don't speak unless spoken to' type of child who never dared to get into a conflict that wasn't any of her business. She misses when she never felt like she had to always give in her two cents and say what was on her mind. She misses how she would just stand there, looking pure and innocent, despite the fact that she was soaking up all the information she was hearing.

She missed that part of her.

But now Farrah was different, much different.

She was now the type who didn't think before what she said, her mindset was now to 'say whatever you want'. She was now the type that always gave their two cents and always said what was on her mind, not caring if it was the right thing to do or not. She was now the type who wasn't scared of anything or anyone, she wasn't scared she would end up getting hit or screamed at like how it was with her father, she was stronger and more daring.

Sometimes, her new mindset came in handy, sometimes it didn't.

Sometimes she wish she never said anything, never thought anything, never opened her mouth to speak.

Sometimes she wished she was still the small, curious girl who would stand still and look pretty, who never but in and gave her unwanted opinion.

There was one time where this was helpful to her, though.

That one time- was this night.

The night started off decent. It was the first game of the season, and it was against Giles Corey High's biggest rival.

It started off how every game did, the tigers cheer team would warm up like they always do- then watch their own team and the visitor's teams practice before the real game. 

Kate stood up from the turf and brushed herself off. "I'm gonna go over to the food stands, anyone want anything?" Kate asked and looked at her teammates.

Everyone shook their head or replied with 'no' except Farrah, who happily asked for a diet coke.

Kate went off and walked the short distance to the food stands, since she was on the cheer team, she got everything for free. When she was standing in line, absentmindedly scrolling through various social media's, she didn't notice the tall, built figure heading towards her. 

She did notice him when her phone was snatched out of her hands and she frantically looked around for who took it, hoping it was just someone like Chess or Farrah.

She was surely mistaken.

She watched the star quarterback of her school's rival team taunt her and grin by holding her phone in the air and dangling it to where she couldn't reach.

She wished Eva was with her now- to just snatch it out of this guy's hand like it was nothing.

But Eva wasn't with her, and neither were her team mates, so she was left to defend herself.

The football players eyes raked up and down Kate's figure, and Kate felt sick to her stomach. He whispered and smirked to his other bone-head friends.

Kate rolled her eyes. "Can I have my phone back, dude?" Kate groaned out and went to grab it, only to have it moved the other direction.

The quarterback laughed and sneered. "I dunno- maybe if you tell me your name, i'll think about it." The man laughed like a fool, thinking he was the funniest dude alive.

Kate breathed in and shook her head slightly. "Fine. I'm..Rebecca!" Kate lied and gave a phony smile. The smile quickly dropped though when she heard a buzz and notification sound come from her dangling phone.

"Oh really? Says in this text you're...Kate?" The jock narrowed his eyes at Kate and read the message outloud. 

"Kate? Wya? Farrah's whining about not having her diet coke...from Chess." He said and stared at Kate, shushing his friends who started to snicker.

Kate sighed and massaged her temple. "Yeah, that's me. I'm Kate. Now can I please have my phone back?" Kate huffed and crossed her arms over her chest, ignoring one of the guys' friends who were mocking her.

"If you say yes to a date next Friday, sure thing, babe." The man smirked and kept his eyes narrowed at Kate, but they quickly moved to the screen of her phone and read the new text.

"Hey baby, try and have fun tonight, mkay? So wish I could be there but I have another shift, you know I'd kill to be there to see my girl perform! Love you <3 from...Love?" The quarterback paused and looked back and fourth between Kate and the text, then checking the image saved as the contact's picture. It was some girl kissing another girl, the only thing is one of the girls looked a lot like the brunette standing in front of him.

He looked back up at her finally and threw the phone at her. Luckily, Kate caught it and glared at him. "What's your fucking deal?" She murmured and went to answer her girlfriend.

"MY deal? What about your deal you- you fuckin' lesbo! That's disgusting!" The quarterbacks voice was much louder now, he started walking towards Kate, fury in his eyes. 

"Calm down, dude!" Kate yelled back and took a step back, not wanting anything to do with this guy anymore.

"You're a dyke! You're a gross dyke! What is wrong with you?!" The jock was screaming at Kate now, even got some bystanders to stop and watch.

Kate was embarrassed, her cheeks flushing red- she didn't like all this attention on her. "I don't know why my sexuality is any of your business- but it looks like you're just mad 'cause you wanted to get some! I don't give a shit if you accept me or not, just leave me alone and fuck off." Kate rolled her eyes and started walking away, but not before hearing his last words.

"The only thing i'll accept is if you and your little girlfriend put on a show for me!" The jock yelled out, smirking since he knew Kate would hear him.

Tears filled Kate's eyes, she was stomping back over to the turf now, seeing as though her cheer mates were already getting ready. 

"Hey! Where's my damn pop!?" Farrah whined out and rolled her eyes.

Kate completely forgot she had an order to get.

"Sorry." She mumbled, biting the inside of her cheek to stop herself from bursting into tears.

Chess was the first one to take notice. "Hey- don't start yet, give us 5." Chess yelled to Riley, knowing she'd be able to convince the coaches to hold the game.

Chess took Kate away from the field to the bleachers and under them, and as soon as they were alone, that's when Kate broke and started sobbing. She fell into Chess' arms and held onto her for dear life. Chess signed and stroked the back of Kate's head. 

It was well past five minutes before Kate could even get herself to stop crying. By now, their whole cheer team came looking for them and found them.

Kate explained everything. Every word he said. Every action he did. 

Everyone on the team was mad or upset, but for some reason- Farrah was the most distraught. But Farrah knew she couldn't just let this go, she had to do something.

So that's when Farrah was the first to show up on the field, immediately storming over to the turf and finding the exact player that did this to Kate.

"Hey, dick!" Her voice yelled out, and that's where all hell broke loose.

-

Farrah was only 5'0, she was small, so when she was standing in front of a 6'4 guy that was the star quarterback of their rival school's football team- she looked completely helpless. Her crossed arms, slanted posture, glaring look, and angered face still didn't make her look all that big and bad. 

The quarterback grinned and crouched down a little to meet Farrah's height. He furrowed his brows and pouted, then cooed to the girl. 

"What're you gonna do, baby? "Gonna.." He paused and jumped his head forwards, making Farrah flinch and almost take a step back.

"Punch me? Hit me? Kick me?" The man sneered and fixed his posture, still towering over Farrah, sneering down at her. "What could you out of all people do?" He gave a deep chuckle and narrowed his eyes at Farrah, clearly enjoying tormenting the cheerleader. 

Farrah clenched her fists and locked her jaw. She looked up at him, her eyes filled with hatred and rage. "More than you can think." Farrah replied back through clenched teeth. She knew this whole scene looked stupid, she knew everyone around them thought Farrah was hopeless, she knew how stupid she looked.

"Oh really?" The quarterback whined out and laughed maliciously. "Look at you, getting yourself all worked up just because I called your little girlfriend over there a dyke, hm? You know I'm right. Everyone and their mother knows I'm right." The football player bent down again, now holding Farrah's chin up with his hand.

Farrah heard that word and immediately grabbed his hand and pushed it away from her. "Don't you dare call her that! You're a fucking asshole, that's what you are." Farrah hissed back, her arms now uncrossed and at her sides. On the outside, she seemed to have everything under control, but on the inside a million thoughts ran through her head. The biggest one being- did he know Farrah was..?

No. That's not the issue. She quickly got her head back in the game, now biting her lip and staring harshly at the man towering above her.

"Look at you! Defending the lesbo! You two make such a good couple, you know?" The man smirked and crossed his arms. He was clearly having fun with this. "Farrah? That's your name, right? I've heard a lot about you, people talk and shit gets around, I heard you'll sleep with anyone who's willing to-" He paused and a glint went through his eyes. "-Especially when you're wasted." He hissed, watching the sudden crack in Farrah's eyes. He grinned, knowing he broke the front she was trying to keep up.

Farrah's mouth opened and closed, her fists unclenching. She didn't know what to say. She didn't know what to think. She was confused and slowly zoning out of it until a familar voice spoke up.

"Farrah, forget it- he's not worth it." Kate mumbled and went to grab Farrah's arm, but the smaller girl pulled away. She was stronger than this. She wasn't going to let down this easy.

"Oh look who it is! The dyke herself." The quarterback grinned and eyed Kate up and down, then scoffing. "I can see why she's the way she is." He mumbled to himself.

"Says you! You're not all that, you have no right to say anything about the way my friend looks." Farrah raised her voice, a fire starting in her eyes.

The man blinked at the girl, his face expressionless, but it quickly changed to an eyeroll and smirk. "That dyke's got you all brainwashed, hasn't she? Well, princess, I'm sure if you were with me, you'd be much happier. I could do you straight." He spoke with venom in his voice, his mouth close to Farrah's ear. He seemed to be proud of the straight pun he made as he slowly moved back and fixed his posture.

"Don't talk to my sister like that!" A high-pitched voice came up, but Farrah ignored it, hearing the voice grow closer- it was now or never.

Farrah lifted her arm in the air and closed her fist tightly, then with all the adrenaline and anger she had built up- she swung and full-force socked the quarterback.

The football player let out a yelp of pain and stumbled back, he would have fallen as well if it wasn't for his teammates to catch him and hold him up. His nose was bleeding along with his mouth, nonstop. He looked dazed and confused, but also angered.

"You cunt! Hope you and your dyke friend are happy!" He yelled out, his voice cracking.

Farrah didn't care. She could barely hear him at this point. She had completely zoned out after seeing him tumble backwards after he full on sucker punched him.

She heard the other teams players yelling at her and the rest of her team, she heard staff rushing up to the now injured player, she heard people who were there for the actual game hollering. But she tuned it mostly out- until she heard her own teammates chime in.

"Farrah oh my gosh- are you okay? Why did you do that?! How did you do that!?" Annleigh rushed up to her sister, holding her now bloody and bruised fist. Annleigh kept checking every part of her sister's body to make sure she wasn't hurt. "I'm so sorry I didn't step in sooner- he shouldn't have said any of that to you- I'm so sorry-" Words and words and apologies and apologies came flooding out of Annleigh's mouth, to which Farrah would just reply with "It's okay" and slight nods.

"Farrah, why the hell did you do that?!" Another voice. Riley's? It was Riley's. 

Farrah turned away from her rambling sister to meet her cheer captain. She knew the storm that was about to hit her. "Riley- I'm sorry but I couldn't just stand there and let that dumbass talk about Kate like that! Maybe socking him was out of line but he deserved it and-" A now rambling Farrah was cut off by Riley shushing her. "Farrah, I'm not mad about that, I'm mad about the fact you could've hurt yourself permanently!" Riley said quickly. "Okay I am also a little mad at the fact you could be kicked off the team- but your injury is more important right now." Riley gave a half smile and went to shush a still rambling Annleigh.

Farrah stared back at Riley. Riley was never this nice to Farrah- it was a weird change, but she enjoyed it.

"Hey! Uhm..thanks for doing that for Kate." A softer voice spoke and Farrah knew in an instant who it was.

"Of course, Chess." Farrah looked at the senior. They didn't exactly get along the best, but Chess appreciated and respected anyone that would go out of their way for her best friend. 

"That was pretty badass, Farrah." A sweeter voice came up. Reese. 

Farrah half-smiled to the girl, who was wearing a cheer uniform now instead of a tiger suit.

"Yeah! That was like- so cool! You really showed him!" Mattie's tiny voice spoke up, looking up at Farrah with wide eyes.

"Aw..Thanks." Farrah glanced down at her swollen fist and then back up at the two girls.

"Yeah, they're both right. But props to you for waiting, I would've snapped way ahead of that." Cairo? It couldn't be, Cairo hated Farrah.

It was Cairo, holding out some bandages and healing cream she had somehow gotten. Farrah smiled a bit at the junior. "Thanks, Cai." Farrah mumbled, watching the girl bandage up her fist.

Cairo looked back up at the younger girl. "No Cai shit, we're not on that level yet." She said with a smirk and finished up with Farrah's hand.

Farrah got up and looked around- at the bleachers, the track, the field, and then at the ambulance who was taking away the asshole of a quarter back.

She jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Hey! Hey..it's just me." Kate said softly, moving next to Farrah. Kate watched the ambulance as well, her lips pursed.

There was a long period of silence between the two girls.

Kate then spoke up. "You didn't have to do that, y'know." She was quiet, now looking down and toying with her bow she had up in her hair.

Farrah turned to fully face Kate. "Yes I did, Kate." She said back.

"I could've handled it, it wasn't that big of a deal-" Kate started again but was cut off by an annoyed Farrah. 

"It IS a big deal, Kate. He had no right to say any of that to you! He was an asshole and got what he deserved." Farrah said angrily and crossed her arms harshly, quickly regretting it because of the pain she was in.

Kate watched Farrah wince in pain. "That's exactly why you shouldn't have done it. Your wrist is fucked! You're in pain!" Kate argued, glaring at Farrah. She continued. "Farrah- what would have happened if he didn't stop, he could've hit you or done worse. You could've been kicked off the dam team! Did you even hear the shit he was saying to you?! What he was doing to you was far worse!" Kate raised her voice at the younger girl.

Farrah shut her eyes, trying to forget what he had said. "Yes, Kate, I know what he fucking said! Don't remind me.." She huffed and opened her eyes. "But you're my friend, Kate, It was worth it. I did the right thing." Farrah stated and looked up at Kate, her eyes getting cloudy.

Kate paused for a while, then started up again. "Thanks, tho..Thank you, Farrah." Kate mumbled and looked at Farrah, then quickly engulfed her in a hug.

Farrah froze, she wasn't used to this. She wasn't used to the attention and affection. She didn't know if she liked it or not.

Kate stopped and pulled away. "Sorry..did I hurt you or-" Kate was cut off by a tight hug from Farrah.

They both stood there, hugging each other, for a solid twenty seconds, before they heard Riley calling them. 

Kate moved away first and slowly walked with Farrah.

Farrah knew if she never opened her mouth- if she never stormed off from under the bleachers to give that guy a piece of her mind- that her hand wouldn't have been broken for a month straight and she wouldn't have been suspended from the team for a month.

But she also knew that if she didn't start a fight with that guy, he would have never learned his lesson and would've continued to be the small-minded dick he was- and Kate would have to live the rest of her life thinking about what that monster had said to her. 

So, in Farrah's book, that was a win.

-

Other times, Farrah wished she never opened her mouth. 

She wished she never even started the argument or fight.

She wished that it was all just a dream and she would wake up any second now.

The 'other times' was referring to this one moment.

Chess and Farrah never got along since the incident where Chess dropped Farrah.

Farrah never forgave Chess- yet Chess still tries her hardest to make it up to Farrah.

So there were going to be little arguments and fights between the two, it was normal at this point.

Farrah and Chess would both say shit neither of them wanted to hear, but it never got out of control. 

Until one day it did.

Farrah always had a feeling that Chess wasn't straight, she just didn't see Chess as a straight girl. She'd always pick on Chess and tease her out of fun, and Chess would just deny it everytime. One time, Chess was asked by some guy who walked up to her in the hall.

"Sooo, Chess, what are you?" The guy, who looked to be a senior as well, asked.

Chess turned away from her locker to face the kid. "What do you mean what am I?" She asked back, honestly confused and pondering.

Farrah came up at this point, now standing at Chess' side. She looked between the two and went to say something but stopped hearing the next words spoken.

"You know....are you..straight?" The guy asked quietly, but his voice still had some sort of panic.

Chess' mouth dropped open slightly. "Uh...yeah? Why do you ask..?" She asked him, trying to sound certain, but Farrah knew Chess and could hear the worry in her voice.

The guy didn't respond, only sneered and started to turn around and walk away from the two.

"That was..weird." Chess mumbled, turning back to her locker to reopen it and gather her belongings.

Farrah laughed slightly. "You're a terrible liar, you know that?" The younger girl smirked and crossed her arms. 

Chess glanced over at Farrah, her brows furrowing. "I'm not a liar, Farrah, I'm straight." She stated and huffed, while pulling out a binder.

Farrah's smirk only grew wider, she didn't feel like stopping nor planned on it anytime soon. "Just last week you said you wouldn't mind kissing a girl or being with one, then you claimed it was feminism." Farrah paused and rolled her eyes. "Wrong ism, Chess, that's lesbianism, not feminism." Farrah stated, clearly proud of the stupid pun she made.

Chess frowned, realizing Farrah wasn't going to let up anytime soon. She continued gathering her supplies and reverted her eyes back to her locker. "You know, I'm starting to feel really bad for tripping, seeing as how bad that fall fucked with your head." Chess replied harshly.

Farrah's expression dropped, but her eyes narrowed as she scoffed. "The only thing you were tripping on was some god-damn drug!" Farrah hissed back, now growing angrier by the second.

Chess' face dropped immediately. She slammed her locker shut and was now turned completely to face Farrah. "For the last time, it's medication for my knee, the doctors said I actually need it..the same can't be said for you and your budding alcoholism, can it?" Chess asked, smirking and sneering down at the sophomore. She knew she'd get Farrah to crack eventually, she just had to dig deeper and deeper.

Farrah was taken a-back, her mouth opened slightly as her vision started getting cloudy. She was regretting this now. "I don't think a 'doctor' told you that you need to get stoned in order to fix your knee injury." Farrah murmured and paused, then started back up again. "..And I only drink when I want to, I can control my intake, unlike some people." Farrah smirked and eyed Chess up and down, thinking she won the argument.

Chess didn't think before the next words rolled off her tongue. She didn't pause or take a second to gather her thoughts- she was so fed up by now she could care less.

"Rumor is that your parents said that too, but, here you are- just like them." Chess growled and narrowed her eyes at Farrah, watching the younger girl physically break.

Farrah's mouth dropped open. Her lips quivered and she felt her hands start to shake against her side. Her vision was so far past cloudy, she could hardly see. Tears were rolling down her cheeks and filling up her eyes. Farrah couldn't believe what Chess had just told her, she was shocked. She didn't know what to say, what to think, what to do. She was completely out of it. She absolutely hated crying in front of people, it made her think she was weak- that she was worthless. It made her feel stupid and small and she wanted nothing more than to curl up in a ball right now.

Chess stood there, towering over Farrah, her eyes still narrowed- but her lips were pursed and her expression had dropped. She knew what she had done- and she knew it was terrible and so far past the line. A part of her wanted to immediately apologize over and over again, and hold Farrah into a close hug. But the other part of her was too angry to even care in the slightest for the flyer. 

Farrah sucked in a deep breath and sniffled. "Fuck you, Chess." She mumbled, trying to sound mean and intimidating, but her voice came out cracked and broken.With that, Farrah took off in the opposite direction, storming and stomping off. More and more tears came rushing down her face as she quickly swept passed the people in the halls. She ignored the looks she was getting and the people calling out her name. She ignored when Kate grabbed her arm, and just forcefully pushed herself away, keeping her head down.

Farrah made her way to the bathroom that was the farthest away from where the scene took place. She opened a stall, slammed it shut, and locked it quickly. She slid against the door and a broken sob came out of her throat. She slumped against the floor as she repeatedly hit her fist against the stall. She was sobbing loudly now, not caring who heard her. She absolutely hated being compared to her parents- especially when most people didn't know the full story. Everyone assumed it was both her parents who were drunks, but no one ever took into consideration that it was just her father. Farrah couldn't stand being compared to him, he was a monster and she was terrified of ever becoming like him.

But she realized she was already slowly turning into him.

-

Kate ran up to Chess, a frantic and panic look on her face. 

"Did you see Farrah? Do you know what happened to her? She ignored me and ran off from me and-" Kate stopped when she noticed Chess roll her eyes. "Chess..what happened between you two?" Kate said quietly, now stopping in the middle of the hallway. 

Chess scoffed. "She started shit with me..I just ended it and put her in her place." Chess stated with no emotion in her voice.

Kate's eyes narrowed. This wasn't the Chess she knew, this wasn't her Chess. "Tell me what the hell happened, you made her cry, Chess." Kate asked in a much more serious tone.

Chess stopped walking now, taking in a deep breath of air and spinning around on her heel to face her best friend.

She explained everything, every word, every action. 

Kate just watched and listened, not daring to say a word. She watched as Chess' eyes softened and got foggy and cloudy. 

"Kate, I feel so god-awful..I should've been the bigger person. I should've stopped myself. I should've thought before I said anything...and I shouldn't have dared to say anything about her parents when it's none of my business. I'm a terrible person." Chess was the one crying now, but she didn't even realize till Kate was stroking away the few tears that managed to fall.

"Chess, you aren't a terrible person. Neither of you are. You both are in the wrong and neither of you should have said anything. I know it's not my place to say but- I think you need to go and find Farrah and talk with her. If you don't do it now she's just gonna shut herself down and try and hide her problems, and that's not healthy." Kate said softly, trying to reassure and help her best friend.

Chess looked at Kate, then at the floor. They were both so far past late to whatever classes they had to be in- but those were the last things on either of the girl's minds. Chess nodded slightly, sniffling. "You're right.." She mumbled and wiped away the rest of her tears. "I'm...I'm gonna go try and find her..Thanks, Kate." Chess said quietly, slightly smiling to the shorter girl.

Kate smiled back and nudged her friend's shoulder. "Love ya! Good luck." Kate said and quickly went past Chess, waving and grinning. She knew Chess needed to do this on her own, and she also needed to get to class- so she left.

Chess waved back and took in a deep breath, closing her eyes. She turned on her heel and made her way to go find Farrah.

-

Farrah knew she shouldn't have said anything. She knew she should've just stood there in silence or backed off. She knew she shouldn't have but in and gave her two cents.

She didn't think.

She never thinks.

It was all her fault, she wasn't surprised that Chess said what she said.

But it still hurt her.

Is that really what Chess thought of her? Did Chess really just see Farrah as a drunken lost-cause? Like her father?

Chess wouldn't be wrong, though.

Farrah knew she was a lost-cause at this point. She knew she was hopeless and could never sober up, and apparently everyone around her knew it too.

Farrah was lost in her own thoughts by now, so she didn't hear the door to the bathroom opening and the footsteps coming closer and the soft, quiet voice ringing out.

"Farrah? You in here?" It was Chess. Of course it was Chess.

Farrah stayed silent, biting her lip so her sobs wouldn't come out. 

Chess knocked on each stall until she got to the one Farrah was hiding in. She played with the lock and sighed. "Farrah? It's Chess..can we talk? Please?" She asked quietly, now leaning her head against the outside of the stall while shutting her eyes.

Farrah sniffled and shook her head- then realized Chess couldn't see her. "No." Farrah croaked out, her voice clearly sore.

Chess hummed softly. "Please, Farrah? Listen, I know I fucked up- Like, so badly but-" Chess was cut off by a sob coming from the other side of the stall. Her heart broke at the sound and she felt her breathing speed up- she was so far past fucked.

Farrah closed her eyes and let her head fall back against the wall. "No offense, Chess, but you are the last fucking person I want to talk to right now. So please, take a hint and leave." Farrah's voice cracked, even though she tried sounding angry, she sounded so hurt and damaged- it pained Chess.

Chess sighed deeply, knowing Farrah wasn't going to give in. She slid down on the opposite side of the stall, letting her head lean back. "I'm not leaving you here. I came here to apologize for what I caused." Chess said back to the younger girl.

"Well, too late for that." Farrah replied quietly. She squeezed her eyes shut, hoping Chess would just give up and leave eventually.

"Farrah, listen, I know we don't get along anymore. I know this time I really dug my grave and fucked up, I know that, okay? I went way out of line and to drag your parents in it was disrespectful and so rude, I don't even know the whole story. I don't see you as them, like- at all. I know you're more than just the 'drunk' everyone portrays you as. You're capable of doing so much things, I see it in you. I feel terrible about this whole situation, I really do, you can ask Kate if you don't believe me.." Chess paused, feeling tears start to roll down her cheeks again. She started back up again. "But I'm so sorry. I'm beyond sorry. I know it probably means nothing to you, and you probably won't ever see me the same again, but...I really am sorry." Chess said truthfully. 

Two minutes went by in pure silence, and Chess decided that Farrah was done with her, so she stood up and went over to the mirror in the bathroom. She wiped her eyes and brushed herself off, then went over to the door to leave.

The bathroom stall door opened and out came Farrah, who looked a mess, but she came up behind Chess and hugged her tighter than she's ever hugged anyone before. She burrowed her face into Chess' soft shirt and held onto her.

Chess turned around and looked down at the smaller girl, a smile slowly forming on her face. She hugged Farrah back just as tight, if not tighter. 

It was a comfortable amount of silence between the two of them for a good five minutes before Farrah pulled away and looked up at Chess with glassy, red eyes.

"It's my fault too, Chess. I shouldn't have gave my unwanted opinion and two-cents when it wasn't needed. I egged you on and kept going when I should've stopped." Farrah said quietly, wiping her eyes. "I'm sorry too." The flyer said sincerely.

Chess never heard Farrah apologize before, it was a weird feeling. "I forgive you. We were both at fault here, we both said shit we shouldn't have said." Chess said and smiled gently to Farrah.

Farrah nodded in agreement. "Can we just never fight, maybe? It's getting boring and tiring trying to come up with a new insult for you, Frankie." Farrah grinned and went to open the bathroom door to leave.

"Of course, Farrie." Chess said with a smirk, walking out of the bathroom first.

Farrah rolled her eyes at the older girl, then went to start walking off to whatever class she had to be in.

"Oh, Farrah?" Chess called out, spinning around on her heel.

Farrah paused and turned her head. "Hm?" She hummed out, tilting her head.

"I'm sorry for everything...including dropping you." Chess said, frowning.

Farrah smiled at Chess. "I forgive you, Chess, now get to class!" She snickered and waved, going off on her own way.

Chess waved back, walking to her current class.

Even though Farrah still regretted ever starting the fight, she was relieved in a way from it. There was nothing more she wanted than for the stupid conflict between her and Chess to get resolved.

She just never realized it would take an ugly fight and both of them crying and hugging in a bathroom to do it. 

But she was glad it ended that way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was the longest one i've wrote so far- but i'm happy with the way it came out! it did kind of get really graphic and angsty, but i tried adding in some soft shit. hope y'all enjoyed!

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic i've ever written (and my first watt fic) so i know it's not the best. please know this is my idea of farrah and how i see her life and backstory, and this is not actually canon. hope y'all enjoyed reading!


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